Fuck this. xD!

How can you just wake up one morning to find your feelings changed.

simple.. I got tired. :l

What the f-

500 days: Park Convo

Tom walks over and sits down on a bench. He stares off, lost in thought. And then, from out of nowhere, there's her voice.

Summer: Hey.

Summer sits like an apparition on a neighboring bench. She may have just sat down, she may have been there for hours. Tom isn't sure if she's real. He doesn't quite know what to do.


Summer: Where you coming from?

Tom: What? Oh. Nowhere. How long have you been sitting there?

Summer: Awhile.

Tom finds it hard to look at her.


Summer: I come here a lot. I always loved this place, ever since you brought me here.

The mention of their past makes the atmosphere frosty.


Tom: So... I should probably say congratulations.

Summer: Probably. But only if you mean it.


Tom: I don't know if I do honestly.

Summer: I understand.


Tom: Yeah well...anyway...I hope you're happy.

Summer: You really do?

Tom: God no.

They both laugh a little. The tension begins to dissipate.


Summer: How are you, Tom?

Tom: I'm good. Ish.

Summer: That's good.

Tom: Yeah I quit the office.

Summer: Really? That's great! What are you doing now?

Tom: Mostly...sleeping. Breaking things.


Awkward silence...


Tom: So who's the guy?

Summer: Who, my guy?

Tom: Yeah... Wait. Don't tell me. I don't want to know.

Summer: Tom...

Tom: No really, I don't.

Summer: Ok.

More awkward silence. And THEN:



Tom: It's amazing to me. You're married.

Summer: I know.

Tom: You're not only someone's girlfriend, your someone's wife!

Summer: Pretty crazy, huh?

Tom: (SIGHS) I'll never understand that.

Summer: Tom --

Tom: What's different now? How could things change so quickly?

Summer: I don't know. It just happened.

Tom: What happened?! That's what I don't get.

Summer: I... Tom...

Tom: What, tell me...

Summer: I woke up one day and I knew.

Tom says nothing.

Summer: I knew I could promise him I'd feel the same way every morning. In a way that I... I never could with you.

And there's not much else to say after that. Tom gets up to leave.


Tom: You know what sucks? Realizing that everything you believe in is complete bullshit.

Summer: What is?

Tom: Destiny, soulmates, true love. All that stuff. It's nothing more than silly childhood fairy tale nonsense, isn't it? God!

Summer: Tom, don't go.

Tom: I should have listened to you, Summer. You were right all along.


Summer takes a beat to let this hang there.


Summer: I was right?


And then, out of nowhere, she begins to hysterically laugh.


Tom: What? This is funny?


Tries to stop but it only makes it worse. Now's she's completely cracking up.


Tom: What are you laughing at?


And she can't stop. She's totally lost control.


Tom: (trying himself not to LAUGH) You're a crazy person!

Summer: Tom! You're the crazy person!

Tom: What are you talking about?!

Summer: One day I'm reading a book at the corner deli and this guy sits down and starts asking about it. Now he's my husband!

Tom: This is funny to you?

Summer: What would have happened if I went to the movies instead? If I went somewhere else for lunch? If I showed up to eat ten minutes later? Tom, it was meant to be, just like you said. And as it was happening, I knew it. I could feel it, sure as the sun. And I kept thinking to myself "Holy shit. Tom was right." You were right about all of it. It just wasn't me you were right about.



Tom is speechless. Summer takes his hand. He notice her wedding ring. He holds it for a few seconds more. And then, the hands separate.


Summer: Anyway, I should probably be getting back. It was good to see you. I'm glad you're well.



Summer gets up and starts walking away from him. After a second:


Tom: Summer!

She stops and turns back. He takes in her face, most likely for the last time ever.


Tom: I really do hope you're happy.

Summer: I know. See you later.


And she walks away. Leaving Tom alone in the park, getting smaller and farther away every second


I just wish there was an alternative ending.. Where it starts at the expectations vs reality but instead of reality, expectations wins and it'll go from there. Some scenes will be deleted and be added with sweet, sappy shit. Then everyone will be in tears and say, "it's so typical." XD! but no.. this is the real deal. this IS a real relationshit. Not what you hope is what you get. it's terrible. :l horrible to be exact.

What to say..

Thinking in the middle of the night. XD!

I wish I had the guts to really open up and say some things and actually say it with meaning rather than just words and broken promises.i mean.. Imagine if people were like that.. imagine if people were too open and say thw things others would want to hear! :)

But that would be too foolish. People tend to say things and mean the other, or say something yet do another. xD! I mean.. I would love to have the courage to juat really say how I feel and not be looked down like some sad little puppy. I came strong because I said what I wanted and I guess it feels good..

It's just that.. We, as human beings, tend to hide our feelings really well and use quotes, song lyrics or in any case blogs to express how we feel. Though, it is legit.. We're only seeing the tip of the iceberg. There's more to it than that, you know?

...well, i just.. it's a thought. xD!

Moments

I fell in love with the kind of guy my parents warned me against. He didn’t come from a good family and he spent every minute of the day working for every penny he could get, he used to apologise that he couldn’t buy me diamonds or pretty things or a big house to call our own, but it was only when i met him i realised the best things in life really are free. i realised relationships aren’t about the gifts your given, it’s the moments on the country drives when you tell yourself if they ignore your directions once more you will beat them to death with the A-Z, it’s when in furniture shops and they spend hours measuring bookcases when all you want to do is look at sofas, it’s when they forget to record your TV programmes but suggest now you can watch the match together, its being questioned about all your past relationships and threatening to go back to them, it’s not making the reservations at the restaurant so you end up with fish and chips instead. But it’s when they admit your directions were the right ones, when they let you ramble on about cushions and fabrics and designs without complaining, when they spend the match doing funny commentaries and explaining the rules every time you ask without getting frustrated, its arguing about exes but being glad they’re your exes and he’s your future, it’s eating the fish and chips while you tell each other about your childhood and fears and ambitions and thoughts, it’s also when they know exactly how you like your cups of tea, and when they understand when to hold you during the sad parts of your favourite films. And it’s that moment when you have a stupid argument about putting the red socks in the washing machine with the white shirts and you threaten to leave, but then you look round at this little nest and world you’ve created together and you see the bookcase where his Stephen King’s are nestled in-between your Bronte’s, and the DVDs stacked along the wall with your DVDs hidden in his cases that would take days to sort out, it’s the two Xbox controllers plugged in from when you last teamed up to take on his friends, it’s the sofa where you each have your ‘side’ his with the TV remote and yours with the cushions, it’s seeing the photo album which has pictures of both your pasts and presents – where your childhoods are next to each other protected by a plastic sheet, it’s his clothing lying about that you’ve slowly adopted as your own, it’s realising that not just your belongings but your worlds have become connected, you’re so much a part of each other that you could leave because it’s be leaving part of your heart behind too. So you shut the door and walk back towards him, and he says he’ll put the kettle on and makes 2 cups of tea, one weak with 2 sugars and one strong with none – exactly as you’ve always been.

So you could have all the diamonds in the world but without the laughter and the moments of madness and the knowledge that they love you it’s not worth a penny. You’re a beautiful beautiful person and you deserve to feel loved.

How do you call that love?

You've been together for 8 years. 8 fucking years and happily married for 5 years. A marriage is just another way of saying 'going steady' in my opinion with alot of restrictions and a big whole responsiblity!

Don't just quit right away because things aren't going as you all hoped and planned, that's the thing when you're against life. Life has it's ways of throwing obstacles and you learn from those. I know we're part of the obstacle but I promise you once we get ourselves settled, will move out on our own and leave you two together to be happy..

I can't stress this enough to how pathetic he looks right now. Moping in his room and questioning his existance. He's not this type of guy. I've always looked at him as a strong, hardworking man. Not a weakling... He needs you, alot. You've been there when no one was around and you've been there every step of the way and now.. now you're giving up? Why?

I want to ask you WHY?


I know I shouldn't put the blame on you because relationships takes two people. He has his flaw, too. Okay? I mean he can be over-protective at times, he can be stern and hard headed, and he feels like he's choking you with his questions, constantly asking where are you or who are you with.. And you don't like that. You want to go and have fun..

I just don't want you guys to give up on each other because really, you two will pull through. I mean 13 years of being together? That's amazing and really, giving up now? It's so weird to just throw everything away. I hope you'll just realize that this is wrong and you should fight for this. Fight for it together.. He doesn't want to lose you. He doesn't.

Missing you. (:

Hey you, I've missed you. :3 I haven't been talking to you because well.. I've been busy with things.
I hope you can forgive me, Blogspot.

I'm going through some things with family problems, and I don't like it. Did you know I skipped school on the first day to hang out with a friend for his birthday? How pathetic. I'm some shit.

I do miss you. I hope you don't crash because I need to vent. alot.. (:
you take care, blogspot.